Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Moving to Two Kids

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we're writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

This new year, life will be changing at my house. Baby Bounce is due
to arrive January 13th but I am assuming he will be born a week late
like his big sister. That is the reason that 'estimated' usually
modifies due date anyway.

So what does this mean? I really don't know. I've been reading the
book, Siblings Without Rivalry, for some insight on how to introduce the baby to big sister S. I like the basic theme of the book where it is not my job to ensure S and her baby brother are bffs but rather set them up to be able to negotiate adult relationships. I am certainly far from bestest friends with my siblings and a lot of that has to do with our personalities but some of that has to do with our unable to resolve conflicts between each other.

I would love for my kids to be good friends but I don't have a map on
how to make that happen, hence the book. S is very excited to have a
baby brother coming and I hope that sentiment will continue after he
is born. I tend to set a lot of the tone for the house and I hope that
2010 will prove to be a successful year for me as mama.

Wish me luck!


Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(All the links should be active by noon on Jan. 12. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)

• To Yell or Not to YellThe Adventures of Lactating Girl
• It Is All About Empathy: Nurturing a Toddler's Compassion PotentialBaby Dust Diaries
• To my babies: this year…BluebirdMama
• Mindfully Loving My ChildrenBreastfeeding Moms Unite!
• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: ResolutionsCode Name: Mama
• Imperfect MotherConsider Eden
• ResolutionsCraphead (aka Mommy)
• FC Mom's Parenting Resolutions 2010FC Mom
• What’s in a Resolution?Happy Mothering
• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutionsHobo Mama
• Natural Parenting ResolutionsLittle Green Blog
• This year, I will mostly...Look Left of the Pleiades
• Parenting ResolutionsThe Mahogany Way
• I Resolve to Breastfeed In Public More Oftenmama2mama tips
• Moving to Two KidsMegna the Destroyer
• Use LoveMomopoly
• My parenting resolutionsMusings of a Milk Maker
• Talkin' 'bout My ResolutionsNavelgazing
• Parenting ResolutionsOne Starry Night
• Invitations, not resolutionsRaising My Boychick
• No more multitasking during kid timeThe Recovering Procrastinator
• I need to slow down, smell those roses AND the poopy diapersTales of a Kitchen Witch Momma
• Resolutely Parenting in 2010This Is Worthwhile


mrs green @ littlegreenblog.com said...

Ahhh, good luck with your Birth Day - have a wonderful experience and I'm sure everything will work out just fine between your two :)

Warm wishes
Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com

Paige said...

Good Luck! I haven't read that book (only one bambino) but I've read their other book How To Talk... and it is fabulous so I hope you get some good ideas from it.

Looking forward to hearing your birth story soon!

Hobo Mama said...

Definitely sending warm wishes your way! I will have to look into that book if we decide to have a second. I like the idea that childhood friends isn't the goal but solid adult relationships. I guess my parents must have done a good job, because I couldn't really stand my brother growing up (just way too different from each other), but now we get along fine.

Agreed about due dates. I hated how everyone treated it as some sort of expiration date. One week "late" would still be right on time! Sending you good thoughts for a pleasant birth and your new journey as a family with two kids!

Melodie said...

I was unsure of how my daughter would greet her sister when she was born. I thought she'd be very jealous because the two of us were so attached. I was surprised by how naturally loving she was towards her and what good friends they are now 2 1/2 years later.

BluebirdMama said...

I have got to read that book! I really worry too much about my kids' relationship. Time to stop micro-managing it and let them work it out.

Best wishes for your first year with two!

mamamilkers said...

Happy Due Date!!!!

That is a good book, but definitely geared more towards older kids.

It's quite alot of negotiating and navigating, sibling relationships are amazing and tricky!

Darcel said...

Best wishes on your upcoming birth!
We are expecting #3 this Spring. That still feels weird for me to say.

My girls are 2.5yrs apart, and they are best friends right now. They hug and kiss each other, say I love you several times a day to each other. It's very sweet, and I love it.
They also fight hard, but always make up a minute or two later.

It will work out, and you'll enjoy watching their relationship blossom :)

Jessica said...

Congrats on baby #2! I'm writing this 1/14, I wonder if he's arrived yet?

Re: your resolution, I think it's really wise to educate yourself about siblings. It's absolutely the parent's job to give their kids the tools to negotiate sibling relationships; we're not supposed to polarize them, nor are we supposed to force them together.

Good luck!

megna said...

No baby yet! Soon, I hope. :)

Kate Wicker @ Momopoly said...

Congrats on baby number two! Siblings Without Rivalry is a great book and really helped me go from one to two (I now have three girls). One small thing I did that was special for my oldest when I was pregnant with number two that I repeated when I was pregnant with my third is buying white onesies for my kids to decorate with fabric markers. This was a gift for their baby sibling, and I resisted the urge to make the designs more eye-appealing and let them unleash their creativity. I remember my oldest made a onesie for her baby sister that looked like she'd bee shot. There was big red blob on the back, but her baby sister wore it with pride, and it made her feel special.

Once the baby arrived I always tried to blame things on myself, not the baby. For instance, if an older child wanted me to pick them up when I was holding the baby, I might say, "Oh, I really want to, but Mommy has isn't an octopus and doesn't have enough arms to do that." I also bought my girls a sling to carry their baby dolls around.

Just a few tips... Good luck, and God bless!

Christie - Childhood 101 said...

Best wishes with the birth and introducing your new baby into your little family, I look forward to hearing how it goes.

craphead said...

I really think that people should have an estimated birth month rather than a day. My little girl was due January 19, I think? I would tell people "sometime in January." :) It does upset people, though, but not as much as the constant questions towards the end of the pregnancy!

Good luck with two kids. It's an adventure, that's for sure! I hope things are smooth and that you have a peaceful birth and baby moon.